My Enjorlas Fic
by Pontmercesque
Summary: k i dont rly feel like righting a summary write now.


I WAS GOING TO pREFACE THIS FIC WITH A AUTHORS NOTES BUT IM NOT eVEN GOING TO GIVE IT A TITEL BECAUSE I DONT WANT ANYTHING TO DIMINISH ITS AWESEOMENESS.

One day Enjorlas was in his tree house making tea. Or he was about to. his tree house, which was in the Champs-Elysees, was where he like to go when he wanted to get away from the world. because it was very noisy around where he lived with prostitutes and his comrades milling about all the time. So anyway he put the tea in his pocket and went to his tree house. Only it started raining on the way and he didn't have an umbrella because he didn't like the aesthetics of it, it was better when his wet hair curled all angelically, and then the loose tea started steeping in his pocket (the water started boiling against his skin because Enjy's so damn HOT) and he was like "awww, merde" and it made a big pink (it was fruity tea) stain on his trousers. He went to his tree house anyway cause he was so far from home and he needed a dry place to stay. but he started sniffling. His day was ruined, absolutely ruined.

Luckily he saw Crouyfeyax walking by and waved to him. And courgeylac looked real confused. 'What are you doing up there?' he asked.

'making tea. Or I was going to but evreything's ruined. Do you have some tea?'

'As a matter of fact I do!'

'Okay. Are you alone?'

Courferyax looked to his left, then to his right. 'I think so,' he sAid.

'You didn't look behind you. Always look behind you.'

Courfeyrac did.

'Check your pockets. And inside your boots.'

'For heavens sake, I'm not takingn off my boots in this weather. I'm not even waring any!"

'Then stop wasting my time!' Enjorlas said crossly. 'Come up here, be quick.'

'But there's no ladder.' Oh, this could pose a problem. Because Enjorlas can get up easy, he just unfolds his wings and flutters up. But Courferas is an inferior lifeform.

'okay, hold on.' So Enjoyras closed his eyes tight and floated Courgeyras up using his mind powers.

'Thx' said Couraewasd.

'K.' said enj.

K I'm bored with all this punctuation! gonna switch to script form now.

Enjorasl: OMFG WTF ARE YOU DOINH VOURTEYRAC?

Courfeyraw: Makin tea like u said? DUH.

Enjorlas: NOT OVer A FIRE. UR gOIN TA BuRN THE TREE DOWN, MAN. THAT'S WHAT THE HOTPOT IS FOR.

Couryferac: OH. That's convenient. *makes tea*

Enjorals: ewww, it's green tea. freaking hippie. I hate green tea.

Courgetac: green tea is the best!!!!11

Enjorasls" : excuse me, but whose ur leader?

Courfeyrac: sorry, apollo.

enjorlas: And don't call me that. Only R calls me that. And only in special situations.

Courgeyarsc: LOLOL we all know about ur special situations.

ENjorasls: STFU U PERV. I mean when we're performing greek tragedies.

Courgerac: OH IS THAT WHAT THEYRE CALLING IT THESE DAYS. Next I know you'll be calling yourselfs Orestes and Pylades. *wipes tears of mirth*

Enjorals: *confused* what's so funny? actually R is playing electra cause they're araen't enough lines for pylades.

(AUTHOR'S NOTE: okay, I'm bored looking up this stuff on wikipedia now. but true facts! these are actual characters in greek mythology! back to the sreious part of the fic tho!)

Courgerac" " : Well now we're here I wanted to talk about this passage I read in Lock––

SUDDENLY THE TREE CRASHED AND FELL OVER, BEFORE HE'D HAD TIME TO PRONOUNCE THE LAST SILENT E.

WTF said Enjorasl looking out the now-horizontal window. A beaver was there. it had chewed down his tree with his tree house in it!!!! It smiled at him evilly.

Enorals: I'LL GET YOU, ROYALIST BEAVER. COUNTER-REVOLUTIONARY TRAITOR. ARISTO SLIME.

But he didn't have to because a colonial girl just arrived from Québec came by and shot it and sold its pelt to feed her baby brother back home.

"She is hot," said Courgeyrac.

"Ya," said Enjorasls. Courfeyrac looked at him stunned. Or he was stunned to experience his name being spelled properly, whatev. But then Enjorasls said "Jk, april fools, I still hate women" and all was right with the world.

(Author's note!: lol this fic isn't nearly random enough. Sorry guys it's late and im distracted. Don't think I'm losing my touch!!)

Courgeyad: btw i spiked the tea!!!!!!!! with laudanum! hahahahahaaaaaa.

Enjorals: NOoOO, now I must go on a spree and behave irrationally.

So Enorlas went and slept with all his friends. And since he was a Friend of the People that basically meant there was a looot of work to be done. Alas he only got through like a seventh the population of Paris before he collapsed. Even he's not THAT good. When he woke up a tear ran down his beautiful face. "The disenfranchised of the world. How will I ever get to all of them in time….?"

Meanwhile Javret rode by in the sky on the end of a rainbow kite that was being flown by a cigar-smoking Gavorche which symbolised that the world had turn upside-down, in a surrealist way.

BLuRRy LiNeS ~~~****~~~~~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~

40 YEARS LATER…….

~~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~~&*~~~*~*~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~

R was sitting in his cozy liettle home in the countryside playing his piano and periodically taking a sip of his long-cooled chocolate. When he heard a knock at the door. He ansewrd it. He gasped. There was a beautiful person with horribly shorn hair and missing teeth. 'WHO aRE YOU?'

'Don't you recognise me?" the person sobbred. "I'm enjorlas."

"_**OH GOD!!!!**_" R cried. (loll I hadn't used bold font yet so) "I DIDN'T RECOGNISeD YOU BECAUSE YOU MYSTERIOUSLY HAVEN'T AGED."

"WHAT HAPPEDN TO YOU." he askd.

"well back when I was young and unafraid (author's note: that's a reference to the musical! *sniff* that part is sooooo sad! but don't worry, this is still a humour fic) I thought I could sleep with all the Miserables people in the world. And then I got pregnant and had a baby and sold my hair and teeth to some woman who had lost her own, faked her death and gone on to become a spy for the Austrians all so that her daughter could be adopted by a convict and live a better life, and then I married my baby off to Marius (he's something of a connoisseur) and started wandering the earth, alone and like, sad."

Tears were streaming down R's butt-ugly face.

"So now I have 1239852324601 STDs including several only found in Mary Sues of the Hebrides. Do you still want me?"

"shit yes."

u can guess what happend next.

but enjy was always sad, because of that day when he didn't get to drink his yummy tea. And it was all becaus of the rain.

freaking eponine, up there in heaven crying down on the earth. people wondered why the rain drops (Of which there was A Little Fall) were mixed with eyeliner.

anywayz. And it was all becaus of the rain.

THE. END.

LOL THAT WAS FUN, LET'S DO IT AGAIN!!!!

this fic is dedicated to Marianne for giving me absinthe, and now I've attached her name to it on the internet where everyone can see and I'm NEVAR EVAR TAKING IT AWAY.

happy solstice, all.


End file.
